No-one wants to buy your coaching

aka: Why your personal brand is falling flat and what actually drives buying behaviour in this industry

If you’ve been positioning your coaching offer like a warm, fuzzy personal brand story hoping to magnetise dream clients from your beach chair – this Sticky Note is going to lovingly jolt you awake.

Let’s start with this truth:

Coaching is a ‘Distress Purchase’.
Nobody wakes-up in the morning desperate to ‘buy coaching’.

What they want is Relief. Clarity. Results.

Coaching is just one of many vehicles that can deliver the solution (the solution can also come in the form of a YouTube Video, Podcast Episode, Online Course, PDF Download etc etc) – but it’s rarely the thing they’re actually searching for.

If you don’t understand how that fundamentally changes your buyer’s behaviour, motivation, decision-making process, and what they need from you at the moment they’re considering buying, you will keep being overlooked.

What is a ‘Distress Purchase’?

A Distress Purchase happens when The Buyer is in a state of discomfort, urgency, frustration, pain or fear.

They’re not shopping for pleasure.
They’re shopping for relief.

Classic examples: hiring a divorce lawyer, booking an emergency vet visit, or calling a plumber at 2am when the ceiling starts leaking.

And yes – paying for some form of coaching.

There’s a problem they can no longer ignore.
Their tolerance threshold has been breached.
They’re seeking a specific solution.

And it’s interesting to me that no-one in the coaching industry seems to acknowledge the fact that 9 times out of 10, coaching is a Distress Purchase.

Midlife women hiring confidence coaches?
Women in business investing in a mentor because their offers aren’t converting?
Burnt-out execs hiring mindset coaches to stop the spiral?

They’re not buying from a place of delight.
They’re not thinking, “Oooh, I’d love to spend thousands of dollars to hear someone’s backstory and ponder my potential.”

They are in distress.
And they are looking for a solution – not a coach.

That’s why if your offer is “I’m a coach who helps with…” you’re starting with the wrong thing and already being overlooked (aka leaving money on the table).

The thing that makes your business work isn’t your title, it’s your ability to articulate the solution and result.

Shopping in Delight vs. Shopping in Distress

Ask Yourself: How Have You Been Showing Up to Someone in Distress?

If your marketing is all personal brand and no solution clarity…
If your content is focused on your human design chart and not their current problem…
If your homepage reads like a journal entry and not a results page…

You’re creating friction for someone who’s already drowning.

Why Personal Brand Positioning Misses the Mark

The entire personal brand narrative is built for delight buyers.
It’s built to attract followers, fans, desire buyers – not convert distressed clients.

That doesn’t mean personal brand has no place.
It just means it’s not the doorway.

Distress buyers don’t enter through your story.
They enter through the solution.

They need to trust you can help before they care about how you became the person who helps.

And when your marketing leans too heavily on personal brand – especially vulnerable stories, aesthetic reels, soft words and gentle vibes – you lose the people who are actively looking for help.

They don’t see your content and think, “She gets me”
They think, “She’s talking about herself, not me”

If your business model relies on you being the product, you’ve already misunderstood what your clients are actually buying.

Why Fear-Based Marketing Works (But Still Fails)

This is also why fear, scarcity, and lack-based marketing unfortunately works so well in the coaching space:

Because it prays on people’s vulnerability.

People are already in fear, scarcity and lack.
The marketing meets them where they’re at.
It reflects their distress back to them.

But this is also why those same clients:

• Burn out after buying
• Don’t take responsibility to do the work
• Don’t finish your program
• Blame you when they don’t get results
• Complain about having to pay
• Stay in victim mode

Because you sold them in fear, and fear can’t carry a transformation.

What Actually Works: The Sticky Business® Way

Here’s how we do it instead:

Lead with the solution.
Make it crystal clear what problem you solve and what results you help create.

Bridge from pain to power.
Speak to where they are, but show them what’s possible. Activate belief and clarity before the buy.

Demonstrate your method.
People in distress need to feel safe and confident. Show them the roadmap.

Reinforce credibility.
Your personal story only matters after they know you’re qualified. Show case studies, client wins, proof.

Use your personal brand as context, not content.
Let your brand confirm your brilliance – not carry the entire business.

Final Word

If your ideal client is in distress, be the lighthouse.
Not the one dimming the lights and whispering affirmations while she drowns.

Don’t make her wade through 18 carousel slides about your trauma when she’s Googling how to stop hers.

Build a business that’s structured to respond to her urgency with clarity, compassion and direction.

Because when you meet a distress buyer with a powerfully positioned business —
You don’t just make the sale.
You create a real transformation.

And that, my friend, is how you build a business that truly changes lives.

Where to Go From Here

If you’ve been showing up like a siren when your client needs a solution it’s not your fault.

The online space has fed you a half-truth about what it really takes to grow a sustainable online expert business.

That’s exactly why I created Sticky Business® – to tear the wool from your eyes and finally give you the full picture.

Inside Sticky Business® we build businesses that are designed to attract, convert, and deliver real results – not just rack up followers and likes.

We anchor your strategy in systems, solutions, and structure that meet your clients where they are and lead them somewhere better.

If you’re ready to stop swimming in story and start building a business that sells,
Join the waitlist for the live cohort of Sticky Business.

The lighthouse is built.
You just need to step into it.

Here’s the next Sticky Note you need to read: YOUR PERSONAL BRAND IS KEEPING YOU BROKE