CLEAR YOUR MONEY BLOCKS
Who do you think you are – the Queen of Sheba?
This is something my mum said to me whenever she thought I was getting ideas above my station or acting like we had loads of money.
It wasn’t said with any malice – but the implication that I should stay inside my box and that somehow I don’t deserve nice things stuck.
Over the past year I’ve been doing a lot of work to clear my money blocks, sort myself out, and become a financial management whizz…because I’ve learned this is one of the MANY steps it takes to be a successful business owner.
In fact, this counts for everyone – employed or self-employed – because my negative money story has harmed me my whole life.
Here’s the deal:
The stuff you learned, experienced and felt about money growing up is the stuff that subconsciously dictates every financial gain and misstep until you get a grip on it.
The stuff you’ve been told about money (Queen of Sheba), is all inherited stories from your parents and their parents before them…who all lived through very austere times by the way!
The lovely thing about being human is that you can actually exert control over your subconscious mind and ego…
YOU CAN WRITE A NEW STORY
I was always second-hand-rose, forced to wear my sister’s hand-me-downs and play with her discarded toys.
I’m by no means claiming poverty, in fact I’d say I’ve been ‘middle class’ pretty much my whole life, but money was always a ‘thing’.
We never quite had enough…or as much as my friends…so I started working at 14 to gain some independence and pay for all the lovely things my classmates seemed to have.
The problem was evident immediately – money was like water through my hands.
I’ve mismanaged money my whole working life, and it’s got me into hot water on more than one occasion.
You see, I’ve told myself…
I’m not motivated by money
Money doesn’t mean anything to me
I’ve never regretted a penny I’ve spent
But what I was actually saying to myself was…
I don’t feel worthy of having money, it’s above my station to have nice things, I’m scared of having money because what would that say about me?
Money is scary and not for me, so I avoid it at all costs – I ignore it and get rid of it as soon as I get it.
This is the actual message I’ve been subconsciously putting out there all my life – it’s no wonder I’ve always been broke or in debt!
Discovering all this was a shock and a relief, because I realised there were steps I could take to change my money story and therefore change my actions towards money.
I’ve become incredibly passionate about Money Mindset, and helping my clients clear their money blocks and re-write their money stories is now a huge part of both my one-to-one coaching, and my group coaching programme Your Business Playbook.
In this blog, I’m going to share with you three actionable steps you can start taking today to re-write your money story.
If you’d like to go deeper, get in touch and we can chat through how to push through this and other mindset blocks that have probably been sabotaging you your whole life!
3 STEPS TO CLEAR YOUR MONEY STORY:
1. FACE IT
Time to rip the bandaid off – log into ALL OF your banking apps / accounts and go through your statements with a fine tooth comb.
Get a proper picture of what’s happening – how much is coming in and how much is going out.
Deal with anything you’ve been putting off.
Assess what you’re spending your hard earned money on – is it worth the stress you are causing for yourself?
Look at where you can cut back to keep more money for yourself rather than dishing it out.
Make a list of stuff you can save money on / stop spending money on and put that list up somewhere you can see it.
Log into your banking apps / accounts EVERY SINGLE DAY and track money coming in and money going out.
This alone should be enough of a wake-up call to start shifting your mindset about your money.
2. WRITE IT
Write down everything you remember thinking, feeling, hearing or being taught about money throughout your whole life.
Every experience with money that brings up an emotion for you – positive or negative – write it down.
THIS is your money story.
If you stole a lollypop from a shop as a kid and remembering it sparks a feeling of guilt – write it down.
If you didn’t get that increase at work you felt you deserved and it made you angry – write it down.
If your mum called you the Queen of Sheba and it made you feel unworthy – write it down.
This is an ongoing process, because as you work through step 3 I encourage you to keep writing down things as they occur to you.
Your money story is long and complex, so take your time over this stage and make it a practice to re-visit your list often and write anything new that comes to mind.
3. DEAL WITH IT
Now you’ve started taking a practical grip of your money, and you’re writing out your money story, it’s time to deal with those skeletons in the closet.
Go through every chapter of your money story and make a connection.
Try to understand what that chapter made you think / feel / believe about money and how it’s impacted your actions towards money.
Treat yourself, and everyone else, with compassion during this exercise...
Remember – we all do the best we can with what we have and your folks were simply passing down inherited money stories and living their lives.
Remember – you did the best you could and even though you made bad choices, you have the power to make better ones from now on.
Work through each chapter and neutralise the emotion attached to it – forgive, heal, and put that inherited story to rest.
I’m not saying this is easy, and it’s an ongoing process, but doing this work on your money mindset will literally pay dividends down the line so is well worth doing.
I do have a My Money Story worksheet that I’ll happily email over to you to help you get started with this exercise.
If you’d like it, just email email@example.com and let me know you’ve read this blog and are working on your money mindset.
As I mentioned, I do go through Money Mindset in great depth during Your Business Playbook, which is my signature 10 week group coaching programme and you can find out more about that here.
I hope you found this blog useful and would love to hear what your inherited money stories are and how you are working through them.
Love and Light,