4 Steps to becoming a Confident Coach

Becoming a coach is a calling to begin a journey of healing and self-discovery so that you may begin to help and heal others.

There are no short-cuts to becoming a confident coach, and we all move along our path in our own way and in our own time, but from my experience there are 4 Stages most every coach moves through in order to step fully into their potential and become a Confident Coach.

No step is avoidable, regardless of the type of coaching you do, but the good news is you can start where you are and move through the steps while you hone your craft and build your coaching practice.

Let’s explore Step number 1:

STEP 1: HEAL

Becoming a coach is the single-most confronting thing you’ll ever do in your life.

As you move towards guiding and helping others, in whatever capacity your coaching calling requires, you may start to realise you’re being held back in some way.

You may find yourself procrastinating, avoiding certain tasks, getting stuck in a loop…

These are all signs that you may have wounds that need healing

Hello Fear [of success, failure, judgement…] ~ I didn’t know you were in there.

Hello Self-Doubt [am I good enough, worthy enough, enough enough…] ~ I always felt confident before.

Hello Self-Saboteur [over-giving, comparing, over-analysing] ~ I thought we were all on the same team!

The reason these rise to the surface is because, perhaps for the first time, you are stepping into a bright light with nowhere to hide, raising your hand and saying ‘I can help you heal’.

There’s no avoiding or getting around it, you have to honour your emotions and heal.

We all work through old wounds and fears in our own way, but here’s a path you may wish to investigate:

1. Meditate

However it feels right for you – a guided meditation, lying down in a wild-flower meadow, a bubble bath…

Meditation doesn’t have to be all chanting and jossticks – the basis of it is stilling the body and mind and allowing yourself to be present in the moment.

Immense healing can be found in the power of meditation – and I encourage you to bring some form of it into your daily routine.

2. Awareness

It’s important that you start to notice your triggers – what do you procrastinate over, what’s holding you back, what upsets you or shakes your confidence?

Write down these incidents so you’re aware that when certain things happen (like you start cleaning out the kitchen cupboards every time you want to go live on FB) it’s a trigger, block, old wound or fear creeping up on you.

Make a decision – let it win or face the fear and do it anyway. (my vote is always for the latter!)

3. Journal

This is one of the most powerful daily habits and if you don’t do it yet I highly advise you start.

Each night I write down things I’m grateful for and dreams I have.

Each morning I just allow a stream of consciousness to flow out of me, clearing my mind and getting me ready for the day.

There’s a magic in putting pen to paper – the deepest parts of you show themselves and writing down your thoughts, feelings, emotions and sensations plays a huge part in honouring and healing yourself.

4. Name it

Naming your emotions gives them perspective.

It’s easy to forget that we are actually in control of our own thoughts and feelings, and that they have no power to hurt us.

When feelings of anxiety, anger, hurt, shame, regret start bubbling up name them.

‘Okay, I’m feeling anxious now – my heart is beating fast and my mind is racing’

It’s okay to feel, we are human, it’s part of our existence, accept that you have these feelings.

Love yourself through them, embrace your ability to feel.

Step out of judgment and into awareness.

Name the emotion, breathe into it (breathe in and blow like you’re blowing out candles on a butter-icing covered birthday cake!), honour it, accept it, and keep it moving.

5. Receive it

For me this is actually the best bit, because the thoughts, feelings and emotions that are coming up are here to teach you, guide you, and give you deeper levesl of insight and wisdom.

It’s time to think back to what experiences these emotions may connect with – find the root of the trauma or limiting belief.

What are the sensations trying to tell you?

Use your tools (meditate, awareness, journal, name it…) to open yourself up to receive the message.

There is nothing to fear, you are safe – these feelings are here to help you heal and move through fear.

6. Let it go.

There comes a time when you’ve got to make a decision – wallow or release?

If you feel able to, talk about what’s come up for you with either a professional or someone in your life who you can trust and is a good listener.

Write it down. Then burn it.

Visualise the energy that the trauma took up inside you leaving your body.

Move past the judgment and shame, embrace yourself, love yourself. Let it go.